The Whisper of Roots…

Deep within the heart of each of us

Are our roots.

Our roots are our beginning, our foundation, our heritage…

Lately my roots have been whispering to me.

My great grandfather was a Mennonite preacher.

Whenever I see an Amish or Mennonite person

I longingly watch and admire them.

I admire their dress,

I admire their simplicity.

My roots begin calling me home.

Not home to Kansas, and not home to become Mennonite

But home to simplicity.

Yesterday I baked a homemade apple pie

And wore my apron around the house all day long.

I peeled and cored the apples and mixed my pie crust with my fingers,

The cinnamon apple aroma that filled the house made my heart smile…

Today I will feed my family food my hands have lovingly prepared.

We have green beans that we canned ourselves,

Tomatoes, cucumbers and onions

From our own garden,

And homemade Apple Pie,

Made completely from scratch.

The call of simplicity and the call of my roots grow stronger.

One day maybe Manny and I will answer our call

And go live off the land….

Just like our ancestors did.

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Healing Hearts…

I would love to meet you for a coffee,

At our favorite coffee shop…

We would find a corner

With some large, comfy chairs…

Pull up our knees,

Tightly grasp our steaming lattes,

And settle in to chat.

It would be there we would begin,

To share our hearts with one another.

With no distractions,

Just you and me and God,

Meeting to talk,

About our hearts,

And why they matter…

We would talk about the wounds that came

When you were a little girl,

And how they still haunt you to this day.

Then we’d hold hands to pray,

And ask God to gently apply

His Healing Balm over your broken heart,

And hurt places.

Because, you see,

God was there when the injury happened.

He saw the insults on the playground,

He witnessed the blow from the back of a hand.

He saw the wall of scar tissue begin to build around your heart,

As your only form of defense,

And He cried with you…

He was with you,

When you were a little child lying in bed at night

Scared of the dark,

Wishing you had someone there to hold and comfort you,

But that someone had left,

And you felt all alone.

If we could meet in a coffee shop,

To talk to God about these things,

We would leave a little bit more healed,

Then when we came in.

Because you see,

God wants you to share your story,

He wants you to talk

To the other wounded women,

Who once were little girls,

And desperately need to feel

The Healing, Love of God upon their hearts.

Your voice matters…

It needs to be heard.

Your voice needs to tell of

God’s Healing Love,

That can heal their wounds,

If they will only allow Him to.

His Amazing Healing,

Is a result of His Wounds,

That He took on the cross,

And because of Him,

Everyone can be healed and made whole.

Find a friend…

Share your stories…

And invite Jesus to heal them.

~And they overcame

By the Blood of the Lamb,

And the Word of their testimonies…

~Revelation 12:11

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When God Stopped…

As Jesus approached Jericho,

A blind beggar was sitting beside the road.

When he heard the noise of a crowd going past,

He asked what was happening.

They told him that Jesus the Nazarene was going by.

So he began shouting,

“Jesus, Son of David,

Have mercy on me!”

“Be quiet!”

The people in front yelled at him.

But he only shouted louder,

“Son of David, have mercy on me!”

When Jesus heard him,

He Stopped

And ordered that the man be brought to him.

As the man came near, Jesus asked him,

“What do you want me to do for you?”

“Lord,” he said, “I want to see!”

And Jesus said,

“All right, receive your sight!

Your faith has healed you.”

Instantly the man could see,

And he followed Jesus, praising God.

And all who saw it praised God, too.

~Luke 18:35-43

I love the part where the blind man,

Didn’t give up…

But instead he cried louder…

“Son Of David, Have Mercy On Me!”

“Be Quiet!”,

Hissed the people,

But the blind man cried even louder..

And Jesus stopped.

God Stopped.

“Bring him to Me…”

And He healed the blind man.

OH, how that speaks to me.

OH, how I desire for God to say about me,

“Bring her to Me…”

To know,

To absolutely know

That God Himself wants to draw me to Him.

OH to be held with my head close to His Heart….

OH to know that my voice is heard,

And not drowned out by the crowd,

That mock me,

And tell me to HUSH!

You see,

God saw the sparrow

That just fell in the woods…

How much more does

He see you,

And hear you…

Keep crying out!

Louder if you have to,

Until God stops,

And says,

“Bring her to me…”

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Giving Up…

‘Witchcraft and Religion have one thing in common,

They both want control…’

~John Hagee

Forgive me for rambling on this blog,

But so many thoughts are swirling thru my mind…

Thoughts of how I continually try to control life.

Thoughts of catching myself trying to be the Gate-Keeper

To the world around me…

I gaze at my life and at others lives and I realize

That most of us have at least one thing in common;

Most of us have experienced situations that make us feel out of control;

And that unsettles us…

So we naturally and instinctively

Try to gain control back,

As if we could….

It’s human nature.

We gather our little clan about us,

We plan and navigate our path,

We put locks on our doors,

And locks on our hearts,

And try to control any influences

That might try to harm us,

But the instant

Something bad and unwanted

Storms in our door without knocking

We realize,

We had zero control….

“Ah,” we think, as we analyze our strategy,

“This is my weak link, next time I’ll do

This different

And

That different…

I’ll shore up the walls more,

And hold back the tide better…”

But it never works.

As hard as we try with all of our money,

And with all of our might,

We cannot control

The world around us.

I know this because I have tried.

Oh how I have tried…

I have tried to control and manipulate

People and situations around me,

As if I were some grand chess master,

Trying to plan out and strategize the next move,

Trying to make everything work out wonderfully and perfect…

Tidy and neat, just as I imagine it to be.

It would be my version of Perfect.

Perfect.

No sickness for those around me,

No unhappiness for the ones I love,

And plenty of joy and laughter to fill the people around me.

I have even tried to manipulate and control God.

As if…

It’s very common when you are a mom

And you see forces beyond your control

Encroaching on you and yours,

To want to figure out a way to keep

Everything and everyone safe and happy.

But it never works…

When all is said and done in the end,

It never works.

When my children were young

I could control most of the influences around them..

I could lock doors and windows

To keep bad guys out.

And yet still,

Fever and sickness would come barging into

Ravage their young bodies,

And I would freeze…

Wondering what I had done wrong.

I would strategize and analyze,

And rethink how I could stop this enemy

From coming in again…

I would even bargain with God,

Trying to read my Bible more,

Spending more time in prayer,

As if that was the magical ticket, 

To keep my family safe…

Safe.

The funny thing about it is,

God was the answer

And God still is the answer,

But I was using Him as a genie in a bottle,

And not as an Omniscient Savior.

I didn’t really trust that He Knows,

He Knows.

He knows the very end.

He does.

He completely sits outside of time

And watches with a perspective

We will never see.

He does not fret or worry,

Because he is All-Knowing.

Whenever I find myself fretting about a situation,

I realize I am not trusting….

I am not believing…

In my heart I do not believe

That God is who He says He is,

And a whisper of a doubt comes sliding into my heart and mind saying,

‘Will God really take care of you and yours?’

And the next thing you know

Fear has crept in,

And I am back to controlling,

Back to manipulating.

Sigh…

I know the Answer.

I do.

It Is God.

God Alone.

So throughout the day,

Sometimes hundreds of times per day,

I have to tell my mind to,

Be quiet,

Be still,

Trust God…

Trust God.

I wish I could finish this blog

Saying that now I am doing it all right,

But I can’t.

When situations beyond my control slip in,

I can still find myself doubting.

When fear begins it’s whispering,

And my soul begins fretting,

I catch myself trying  to think of a magic formula

That would somehow fix…

Somehow make better….

My mind swirls and I begin to think,

“Maybe I should fast, and that would ease the situation, so I fast,

But I realize my fast was simply another form of control,

I cry and pray and read my Bible,

And I realize even that was fear based,

And not trust based,

And then I sigh….

And I go back into my prayer room,

Surrender myself to God,

Ask for forgiveness,

Let go of my fear,

Give up my control,

And with a trembling heart,

And quivering lips,

I surrender my situation once again to Him.

And Trust God.

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Alone…

“Elijah went up by a whirlwind into Heaven.

And Elisha saw him no more…

~2 Kings 2:11-12

This story in the Bible about Elijah and Elisha,

Has always made me sad.

God said that He was going to take Elijah away,

And Elisha knew it as well.

Elijah was Elisha’s mentor,

He was his leader,

Elisha leaned on Elijah.

As they were walking towards the Jordan,

A company of men came up to Elisha and said;

“Do you know that the Lord is going to take your master

Away from you today?”

And Elisha replied,

“Yes, I know it,

So be quiet!”

It bothered him.

He knew he was going to have to go back alone…

He knew he was going to have to travel alone…

He knew that he was going to finish the race alone…

The one person he was depending on to be there by his side

Was leaving.

Elisha was going to have to recross the Jordan,

By himself.

Everywhere he had gone with his master before,

He now faced alone.

Alone.

God never intended Elijah to stay with Elisha.

Once upon a time Elijah mentored Elisha,

But then there came a time when Elisha,

Had to put into practice

What he had learned when he was being mentored.

And he had to do it alone.

It is the same for you and me.

There is a season of learning,

And a season of doing.

And the season of doing,

Must be tested alone.

This causes distress inside you…

This causes distress inside of me…

But it must be done.

We have to cross our Jordan’s alone.

God wants us to trust in Him alone.

God wants us to lean on Him alone.

God was with us when we took our first breath,

And He will be with us when we take our last.

Him Alone.

When all is said and done,

It will be Emmanuel,

It will be God With Us….

So we will not really truly,

Be Alone.

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Mercy…..mercy

Fearless

When You think of me,

When You hear my name,
When You see my face,

Let it be with Mercy.

When thoughts of me,

Come to Your memory,
Or my story told,

Let it be with Mercy.

Don’t remember me, according to my sin…

But remember me with compassion.

When my voice is heard around Your throne,
Let it strike Your heart with Love alone

When I stand face to face and look You
in the eyes
See my heart, see my soul,

How I fought the fight.

Blot out all my sin…

When You look at me.

~When You Look At Me

Misty Edwards

When picturing yourself,

Standing before God,

What emotions,

What thoughts,

Come to mind?

Is it fear?

Is it doubt?

Do you become faint-of-heart,

At the thought?

Multiple times,

I have heard it said,

That we view God,

The same way we view

Our earthly father.

But that is so unfair to God.

Even if our earthly fathers

Were awesome;

They still failed at being Perfect.

God never grows weary with us,

He never is impatient,

Or frustrated when we fall…

The Bible says that,

He Remembers our frame…

He sees us with Love,

He views us with Compassion,

When we stand in front of God,

As He is sitting on His Throne,

He will gaze upon us,

With Mercy….with mercy.

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Let Go…

Declaring the end from the beginning,
And from ancient times things that are not yet done,
Saying, ‘My counsel shall stand,
And I will do all My pleasure…
Indeed I have spoken it;
I will also bring it to pass.
I have purposed it;
I will also do it.

~Isaiah 46:10-11

Whenever doubt creeps in,

My fist starts to close….

My arm begins to reach out,

And I try to grasp and hold onto,

The very thing,

I am not trusting God

To handle.

I begin to think,

God has not handled this yet,

He hasn’t answered my prayer yet,

Maybe He wants me to handle this…

Maybe He didn’t hear my prayer,

So I need to step in…

I forgot that He not only knew

The end from the beginning,

But

He

Declared

It.

And what God says,

Will happen….

 Will happen.

His timing is usually not mine.

I can become like a demanding child,

And want things Now,

When He says,

Wait.

Yet, He is not a critical father,

Scorning and furrowing His brow,

When He hears us…..

No…

He listens to us with tender love,

Knowing our frailties,

Remembering how He created us…

Knowing all of our weaknesses.

I have to remind myself,

That the world is

Not passing me by….

I have to remind myself,

That I wasn’t overlooked…

I need to stop and settle my soul,

When it seems like someone else’s

Prayers have been answered,

And mine have been dismissed.

It is at those moments,

I have taken my eyes off of God,

And who He is,

And gazed at earthly things,

Instead of Heavenly things…

Sitting back and trusting God,

Is my goal for today…

Tomorrow too,

But I am not guaranteed a tomorrow,

I can only work with

What is in my hand,

And today is in my hand,

Tomorrow hasn’t come.

Today I will trust God.

Today I will smile and relax,

Because after all,

God has already declared

My end from my beginning…

And knowing that today,

I can smile,

Relax,

Have another cup of coffee,

And Trust God.

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The Warrior is a Child…

“Truly I tell you, unless you change

And become like little children,

You will never enter

The kingdom of heaven.”

~Jesus

Matthew 18:3

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

    Neither are your ways my ways,”

Declares the Lord.

~Isaiah 55:8

God simply does not view things

The way we do.

We think,

The bigger the better,

God says,

‘Give me the little….’

He used a child’s lunchbox,

To feed thousands

Of grown-ups.

He told the thousands of grown-ups,

To sit down,

And be fed by

What a little boy had

For his lunch.

“Forbid NOT

The little children

To come to me,

For such is the

Kingdom

Of Heaven.”

Jesus said.

God’s simply not impressed

With how smart you are…

Or how great you are at anything.

He desires you….

Not your skills,

Not your abilities,

Just you.

Religious man wants us to

Follow the Rules…

Secular man wants us to

Follow them.

God wants us to

Be Like A Child….

Why?

Because a child will Trust.

We have a beautiful

Four year old granddaughter.

When her baby sister cries,

The four year old will begin to sing to her…

‘Jesus Loves me,

Yes, I know,

For the Bible,

Tells me so,

Little ones to Him belong,

We are weak,

But HE is Strong,

Yes, Jesus loves me,

Yes, Jesus loves me,

Yes, Jesus loves me,

The Bible tells me so.’

Ah…..

What a tiny warrior she is.

Jesus hears her begin to sing,

And He commands all of Heaven,

‘Hush!  Be quiet!

She is singing to me…..

She is singing to me.’

As soon as she begins singing,

The baby quiets down,

And starts gazing up,

Looking around into the room.

I believe she is seeing

The ministering angels

That are surrounding them,

And she smiles and coos.

Jesus tells us,

That children’s angels report directly to

The Father.

When children sing praises to God,

It is the Highest Warfare.

All Heaven stops,

When children sing

Praises

To

God.

We think we have

To be savvy…

We think we have

To obey all the rules…

No.

We must simply

Become

As

A

Child.

And

Trust

The Father.

“So those who are last now,

Will be first then,

And those who are first,

Will be last.”

~Matthew 20:16

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Whole-Hearted God

Jesus wasn’t half hearted.

Everything He did,

Every prayer He prayed,

Was from His Innermost Being.

It was from His Whole Heart.

I wish I could pray that way.

Even when I am in my prayer room,

And I am praying passionately…

Looking out of my window…

Up into the sky…

I see a bird fly by,

A rabbit dashes in the front yard,

And my eyes are distracted…

My mind flitters for the briefest moment,

And I get off track.

I try to stay undistracted,

I really do,

But I am not capable,

I am not Jesus.

Scripture tells us that He intercedes for us,

He prays for us.

His prayers are perfect,

His prayers are undivided,

And His Love causes His prayers

To be wholehearted.

When He was praying in the

Garden of Gethsemane,

As He pleaded with God,

His prayers were so intense,

That He sweat blood…

His thoughts were for you,

His thoughts were for me,

He yielded to The Fathers Will,

And went to the cross for us.

His Great Love causes

His Heart and His Prayers to be,

Fixed and Steady,

On you,

On me.

We can Trust Him

To hear our prayers,

Because He understands

Our frailties as we pray to Him.

As we talk to Him…

He steps in and becomes the strength we lack,

As we seek to speak with Him,

And tell Him our needs,

He steps alongside of us,

And whisks our burdens out of our hands,

Into His,

And makes them Perfect.

As only

The Whole-Hearted,

 Perfect Intercessor  can.

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BE STILL…

When I read of Who God Is

I realize I do not KNOW

Who God Is.

When I read of how the

Seraphim and the Cherubim

Fall down before His Throne

Crying

“Holy, Holy, Holy”

I stop.

I shut my mouth.

I do not want to utter rash and hasty words….

For He is God in Heaven,

And I am only one of the billions of people,

That walk on earth.

I know that He sees me,

I know that He hears me,

I know that He cares for me,

Yet….

My soul quiets itself,

When I think of

HIM.

Those stars….

The heavens…

The vast universe…

“Hello God…

You tell me You hear me, You tell me You see me…

But when  I truly try to comprehend you,

I cannot.

You already see my last day,

You already hear my last breath,

What can I tell you?

What can I advise you?

What makes me think I can try to control my days…

My future…?

My future is in Your Hands Alone.

Please forgive me for trying to take over.

Please forgive me for trying to take control.

Even after I have sat at Your Feet

For ten thousand years,

I will still not grasp

Who You Are.

Except,

Except for the fact that

I am told that I can call You

Papa.

And that comforts my soul,

When I gaze into the massive starry night…

I can sleep tonight,

Knowing the Creator of the Universe,

Calls me His Child,

And is watching over me.

Amen.”

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