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Posts Tagged ‘reality’

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The Lord himself goes before you

and will be with you;

he will never leave you

nor forsake you.

Do not be afraid;

do not be discouraged.”

~Deuteronomy 31:8

Hello.

It is January 1, 2020.

Who knew we’d make it this far?

Who knew our heart

would still be beating this long?

God. 

God did.

And for that reason we rest.

And for that reason we trust. 

And for that reason we unclench our fists

and let go of control.

(What are we trying to control anyway…?)

During the past 365 days of 2019

How Many Times

did we get our own heart to beat?

Zero.

We did absolutely nothing to cause it to beat…

Yet here we are.

Here we are.

God has already gone before us

into 2020

and prepared our days.

He has prepared our moments

He has prepared our lives.

He took care of us yesterday

He will take care of us today

He will take care of us tomorrow.

So do not fear.

One of His Names is Jehovah El Roi,

The God Who Sees Me…..

even me.

He is that Big. 

He is that Good. 

Hello New Year. 

Hello 2020.

I need not fear.

God Himself has gone before me. 

Sigh…..

(Thank You Precious LORD)

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God has many names.

Many  names.

He is Jehovah Nissi,

My Victory.

Jehovah Rapha,

My Healer.

Jehovah Shalom,

My Peace.

Jesus called Him Father.

But lately,

We have needed

The God-of-Angel-Armies.

So that is the Name I cry out to.

We’ve needed a

Warrior God,

A Rush-To-Our-Defense-God,

 An I-Will-FIGHT-For-You-God.

And that is the name I call upon.

Whenever I cry out,

‘Oh God-Of-Angel-Armies come to our rescue!’

He Does.

I INSTANTLY feel His Presence.

Instantly.

We’ve felt such a need for a Redeemer,

For an All-Conquering,

All-Powerful,

Fearsome Warrior,

So I cry out and He is near…

I feel Him by my side…

Yes, the Holy Spirit dwells within me

and comforts me,

But He is also the one that quickens me

with the Name of God that we need for the moment.

And recently He has told me

God-Of-Angel-Armies…

Think of that name.

Lord-of-Hosts,

God-Of-Angel-Armies….

Angel ARMIES…

Mighty to Save…

All-Powerful!

CREATOR OF HEAVEN AND EARTH!!!

Who is like Him?

NO ONE!!! 

Not one single person or thing.

He is Great,

And Greatly To Be Praised.

That is the God I’ve been talking with lately.

That is the God I’ve been walking with lately.

That is the God Who has been showing me

situations, people and things around me

to pray about and to pray for.

He is the same God my mother used to pray to

and her mother used to pray to

and her mother’s mother,

and on and on.

With that legacy behind me

how can I not call out to

The Name Above All Names,

Who comes to our rescue?

God-Of-Angel Armies

is right by my side.

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Gods Annointing comes from crushed oil

I have a choice.

Because I have a voice I have a choice.

I can choose the easy way with little to no pain

and more comfort,

or I can choose a harder way which produces more pain,

but Character Growth.

~If I had the opportunity to choose what kind of life

I would be given before I was born,

I would’ve chosen a life

where the road was smooth.

Where the path was easy…

I would never have chosen heartache and grief.

No,

I would have planned my life

very carefully and purposefully

with little to no suffering involved…

~Good thing I wasn’t in charge...

The heartache I encountered

actually made my heart softer...

The suffering I shivered thru

gave me empathy…

The abandonment I experienced

made me look towards the lonely…

If you think about it,

the sweetest part of a peach

is actually the part that is bruised.

The bruise produced the sugar…

The crushing of the olive

produces the oil,

and the oil heals…

The oil heals.

How would I know what True Love feels like

without knowing rejection?

How would I know what Peace feels like

if I had never touched war?

I am Grateful for my scars.

I am Grateful for the times

my heart quivered inside me from doubt.

How would I know the Deliverer

if I’d never needed delivering?

  ~Am I through being crushed?

I hope not. 

I pray not.

Is it fun?

Absolutely not. 

But the fragrance that comes from a rose

when it’s petals are smashed

is Beautiful.

And one day,

when I am old and gray,

I want to be the most fragrant crushed flower

that produces healing…

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‘And when you’re tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There’s freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

And where you are, I’ll hold your heart
I’ll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won’t let go

You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held.’

~’Just Be Held’

Casting Crowns

 

The center of control is fear.

The center of fear is lack of trust.

  The center of lack of trust is doubt.

And doubt casts a long shadow that touches virtually everything in life.

Doubt was the sin that began it all.

Doubt creates fear

Fear creates control.

If I truly believe God is who He says He is

Then I should be the happiest person on earth.

When I catch myself trying to control situations and people in my life

I stop and examine my heart

And sure enough,

I find doubt smack dab in the middle.

Doubt sits in my soul like it has squatters rights.

And based on my track record it should.

Doubt hangs out with

Fear

And worry

And all it’s other cohorts…

But God sees.

God knows.

God understands.

And God still Loves.

He sees my weaknesses and my failings

 He is not wringing His Hands worrying about me.

He just Is.

He is there.

He is here.

He was with me when I laid down last night to sleep

And He was with me when I woke up.

God has been so clearly faithful each and every day of my life.

God was faithful when I messed up

And He was faithful when I didn’t.

My actions never swayed Him.

God is Solid.

And yet doubt still has a way of creeping back in and whispering it’s lies…

Whenever that happens,

I stop,

Run as fast as I can back to God

And bask in Him.

  I bask in His Love.

God is Love.

And Love holds me.

Love reassures me.

Love keeps me…

God keeps me.

I stop fearing because Perfect Love (God)

Casts out fear.

And when I let go of fear

I let go of control.

I stop holding on and trust God

As He Holds me.

I am held.

Someone much bigger than I is in control.

And I am ok.

I am Held.

Sigh…

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‘Try to stop Your Love, and You would wage a war

Try to take the very thing, You gave Your life for,

And You would come running, tear down every wall,

All the while shouting,

“My love you’re worth it all!”

No sin, no shame, no past, no pain

Can separate me from Your love,

No height, no depth, no fear, no death

Can separate me from Your love’

~Unstoppable Love

Kim Walker Smith

 Do you remember the scene in the ‘Last of the Mohicans’

Where Hawkeye is running to get Cora

And the drums are beating frantically in the background,

As he runs to rescue his love?

That is how God is towards you.

Do you know God Loves you?

Do you know God Enjoys you?

That God Listens to you?

And Hears you?

God Himself Sings over you?

Did you know that God Thinks about you all the time?

(All the time…)

‘His thoughts about you are more numerous than the sand on the seashore….’

(Psalm 139:18)

But No.

You probably didn’t know that.

And if you heard it before,

You just thought it was a kindly lie,

A pat on the back to make you feel better.

You’ve probably been told that even though you are a Christian,

God still holds your sins against you.

That He is counting up your wrong doings

One-by-one

As He holds His great Calculator-In-The-Sky,

That is adding up all your transgressions…

All your mistakes…

Listen. 

Let me tell you the Truth.

There is No condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

God will Never speak condemnation to you.

He will only speak His Promises.

He doesn’t call you out.

He calls you up.

He calls you up to His Amazing Plans for you,

And He laughs while He is calling.

He laughs because His Great Plans for you

Are wrapped inside His Great Love for you….

His Great Love for you.

You.

You are Absolutely Priceless,

And how do I know?

Because the Price Jesus paid for you,

Is Greater than the universe itself..

“Try to stop Your Love,

and You would wage a war,

Try to take the very thing,

You gave Your life for,

And You would come running,

tear down every wall,

All the while shouting,

“My love you’re worth it all!”

 

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Roll, roll me away,
won’t you roll me away tonight
I too am lost, I feel double-crossed
and I’m sick of what’s wrong and what’s right

‘Roll Me Away’ ~Bob Seger

What do you do when even the church betrays you?

When you are hurt by the ones that are supposed to have the medicine?

What do you do when

The ones that are meant to be safe

Are unsafe?

What do you do then...

If you’re anything like me, you hide.

You build a wall around yourself so that nothing and no one else can hurt you.

Yeah, thats what I do…

Thats what I’ve done.

The problem with that is it doesn’t work.

Building a wall from ever getting hurt again only leads to loneliness…

And being alone sucks.

As I am sitting here writing this the only living thing around me are plants.

Plants and the ticking of a clock somewhere off in another room…

(But the clocks not actually alive…it’s just making a sound)

~When you are physically hurt you go to a dr. to diagnose the pain and apply medicine,

When your soul is hurt you are supposed to go to God and God’s people

To help heal your souls pain.

But what do you do when the soul wounds are inflicted by the ‘soul healers’…

Whatcha-gonna-do?

Once-upon-a-time I lived in a city that was full of Christian churches.

Name your flavor.

It was there.

I was raised in the church so I knew how to act and how to fit in.

But alas, when I lived in that city I grew weary of acting,

And I decided to let my limp show.

Guess what?

My limp exposed all the other Christian’s limps,

But they didn’t know it.

My taking off my mask of ‘Perfection’,

Brought about tongue lashings and rejection of the cruelest kind.

The kind that’s done in the name of God.

This happened over 13 years ago,

And to this day I am still scared to come out of hiding.

I still shiver when I walk as a visitor into a church.

My smile still quivers when I greet people,

Because deep inside my heart,

The tape player plays back the old voices…

Voices of condemnation,

Voices of shame.

So I hide.

~And while I’ve been told,

to have a friend

You have to be a friend.

You have to smile and show yourself friendly,

And ask about others,

About their story…

But if I do that,

They might turn around

And ask about me about mine…

And I would have to reveal that I have a limp,

And face their scorn.

No,

It’s easier to hide.

While I may not be able to fit into the mask I once wore of ‘Perfection’

I at least do not have to place myself in a seat of inspection from others.

I’ve done that too.

I’ve thought, ‘well I might as well just tell them up front what my limp is

And they can reject me right away..’

But that didn’t work either.

(Sigh…)

What do I do with my limp?

What do I do with my poor, ragged, muddied soul?

I give it to God…

I give it to Him.

He alone holds the balm.

He alone mends my limp.

He alone holds my head to His chest.

He alone.

Alone.

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Sovereign |ˈsäv(ə)rən|

possessing supreme or ultimate power:

Omnipotent |ˌämˈnipəd(ə)nt|

(of a deity) having unlimited power; able to do anything.

(Sometimes I’ve had a hard time believing God loved me…ok, most times…)

I mean really, really truly loved me.

Think about it.

 Why would a Sovereign, Omnipotent GOD

Give me the time of day,

Much less love me?

If He’s Omnipotent and All-Knowing, then He knows me.

 He knows my screw ups, my failures, my trippings

And every time my heart was less-than-pure..

~I am not and have never been ‘important’ in the grand scheme of things.

 In school I was a nerd,

And even after I’d grown up,

I’d made no great impact on the world around me…

In all honesty,

I hadn’t earned a thing…

Much less the Love-of-God.

When I would hear people say that God loved me

It seemed like a kindly pat on the back.

A condolence.

 A thing to say when all else failed,

And everything else had been spoken.

I’ve said it before when I didn’t know what else to say,

 But did I really believe it?

Yes.

 For them I did.

 But for me?

 Well, that seemed to be a different story.

 Why oh why was it hard for me to believe it for myself?

~ One day I will take my last breath here on earth

And simply slip into eternity to be with God.

 Of that one thing I am sure,

 I am sure because of what He did for me on the cross.

 I believe it.

 I do.

I always have.

 My place in Heaven is only because of Him and not because of anything I’ve done.

 ~That proves His Love for me.

 It does.

 So what was up with my questioning heart?

Why did part of my heart tell me that

 I was low on the totem-pole of God’s love…?

(As I am sitting here pondering it, I think I have figured it out…)

 It’s because of God’s face.

 The Bible says that no one has seen the face of God.

 But I had put a face on Him.

 Honestly, I think everyone does.

We paint Him with what is comfortable

And what is known.

After all, who can comprehend an Omniscient, Sovereign God?

 So I painted Him with an image.

A familiar image.

My image of God for so long was of an angry God.

 I believed that He loved me if I obeyed.

 If I was perfect I would earn His approval.

 But since I wasn’t a stand-out person,

One that tended to be more nerdy than not,

One faaaar from perfect,

I was forever disappointing the Sovereign God.

I finally had to grapple with this core belief.

If God is the God of the Bible,

And not the image that I had placed on Him,

Then I knew I had to either believe it

or not.

 I had to trust He is who He says He is,

or not.

I chose to believe.

 I slowly began trusting that God was who the Bible said He was.

 Little-by-little I would spend time with Him.

 As I would drive down the road,

I would look out the window at the clear blue sky

And tell Him, ‘Good morning’,

Knowing that if He was all Sovereign and Omnipotent

Then He could and would hear my tiny whisperings to Him during the day.

 And so it began.

 My developing and trusting that

God hears me,

And pays attention to me,

And loves me.

 Loves me.

Loves me…even me.

 

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It seems all I want to do lately is spend time alone with God.

I hear music and it makes me think of how He created music…

I see the blue, blue skies of Colorado,

And it makes me think of how He created them for me just this morning….

I sip my warm cup of coffee and smile…

Everything makes me think of Him.

Him.

God the Creator

God the Father…..

Once upon a time,

Not that long ago,

I used to ask who

God the Father was….

I knew Jesus.

I experienced the Holy Spirit,

But God the Father…

He seemed so distant…

So very, very far away…

He was the disapproving One,

The frowning One,

The disappointed-in-me One.

So, I stayed at a distance,

And spent time talking to Jesus.

Yes, they are Three-In-One,

But the only One I thought cared of the Triune,

Was Jesus.

Then one day, my heart heard Him called Papa.

Papa.

Heavenly Papa.

The name Heavenly Father still sounded aloof….

But Papa….

Papa is a name you run to,

Not run from.

My heart began to wonder about the Heavenly Papa…

My heart began to glance at Him….

My heart began to yearn for Him.

Wondering if this Heavenly Papa really did actually Love me…

And not frown on me…

And so quietly, every morning,

I began to dare to slip into my prayer room,

Gather my blanket over me,

Sip my cup of warm coffee,

And whisper…

“Papa, Heavenly Papa, Good Morning….I love you”

And I would feel His welcoming reply…

“I Love you too my precious daughter…..

I Love you too.”

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The more I learn,

The more I am accountable for.

I have learned recently,

That every situation that presents itself to me…

Is a gift.

If I treat a situation casually,

Then I have abused the gift.

If I see the people that I interact with daily,

As a gift,

Then I have learned well.

If I view those same people with impatience and disregard;

Then I have learned poorly.

And……By The Way……

A lot of people would rather spit on me,

Then love me.

That too…

Is a gift.

In every situation in life,

I have a choice.

I can either curse those who curse me,

Or bless those who curse me……

It’s really all up to me.

I decide.

I choose.

And I pray…..O how I pray….

That I choose wisely.

For I am not promised tomorrow,

And tomorrow I might just be

Standing in front of God,

Giving an account of my choices….

My daily decisions….

And I alone am responsible,

For myself.

And my reactions to the gifts,

Given to me each day.

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I am simple.  I will never claim to be intelligent and I will almost always shy away from debates, it’s just simply not in my nature.  I am not an expert on anything, and I will generally be open to learning the other side of the story, knowing that what I HAVE learned in the past is ‘just a part’ and that my whole knowledge of something will not be completed until the day I die.

Having said that, there is ONE thing that I will open my mouth to speak about. It is the One thing that I have the Most experience in.  I have walked it, talked it, pondered it, seen it, touched it, tasted it, felt it, heard it, and smelled it.

It is called religion.

And religion is the Ultimate War.

Religion became the Battle of satan against God.

And the Prize was mankind.

You and me.

Since satan knew he could not win against God Himself, he would go after us….

The very little that I have read about war and strategies is interesting.  The one tactic I have seen portrayed the most in movies is the one where the enemy surrounds and attacks from the front and from the rear.  The more sly and convincing the enemy is, the easier it is to lead astray the other side.

The trap is set.  And without KNOWING the enemy, and studying what his tactics are and have been in the past, the snare is successful.

The snare to trap mankind, would be to show that God is mad, angry at you and I and we had better behave and become good enough thru either our own workings or our money…….one way or the other we had to Pay.

We had to pay….

~I have often wondered why Jesus came into the world at the exact time and place that he did.  All I know is this: It was The Perfect Time.

He entered a world so tightly wound up around religion and rules that the Rule Makers of the day hated Him.

They despised Him.

They went to War against Him.  The Ultimate War.

The only thing is they didn’t KNOW His strategy was two-fold.

Jesus strategy was to Love and to Die.

No one knew it.  His followers wanted Him to overtake the ruling Roman government and the religious leaders of the day wanted Him dead.

And when He died, his followers scattered and the religious leaders laughed.  They believed that their war strategy worked.  It went easier than they even expected!  When they hurled false accusations at Him He was quiet!!!  Perfect.  They couldn’t have planned it better if they had tried…….So they chuckled and walked away and sauntered back into town, patting one another on the back, smoothed out their long flowing, expensive robes and entered the temple, where once again they would of course be respected, and obeyed, and this Jesus fellow was gone.

But as soon as they entered the temple there was a flurry going on.  It was out of control….maybe it was the earthquake that happened when Jesus gasped His last breath, or maybe it was the complete darkness that overtook the earth.  None of that quite shook them like what they saw when they walked into the inner courts.

It was there that they saw it.

The Holy of Holies was exposed.  The innermost courts of the temple where they worshipped contained a three foot thick curtain covering the most Holy place in their temple and it was RIPPED in half, from Top. To. Bottom.

The religious leaders form of being superior was gone.  Their Ace was played and they no longer were in control of the game.

The enemy of our souls had lost the war, his overlord pawns were stripped of their power, they could no longer control the people….

You have to remember who these guys that the enemy used to strategize against Jesus were….They were the Chief Priests…….not your average run of the mill priests, but the .CHIEF PRIESTS, the ruling authorities of their day.. and they alone had access to the Holy of Holies.  They Alone.  Now it was exposed and wide open to the average man…….the average woman.

Let me explain what was required during their day.  People that wanted forgiveness of their sins had to bring in unblemished animals for their sacrifice and if they didn’t have one, they could go into the temple and buy them.

“Hurry, hurry, step right up folks, get your unblemished sheep over here for only 10 coins!”

“No! No! Look over Here!!!  I have a lamb to sell for only 8 coins!  They’re not gonna last long, Buy them from me while they last!”

Jesus saw this and it angered Him.  The week before Jesus laid down His Life to die, He walked into those same outer courts of the temple, took a concealed weapon out of His robe,~ a whip,~ and drove out those guys preying on the innocent.  He made the money changers and the religious leaders very, very angry.

Thats what happens when you mess with someones money, you take away their income.

Tempers simmer and strategies of war begin to form….

They played right into Jesus’ Hands.  He wasn’t killed, He laid down His Own Life to Become the ULTIMATE SACRIFICE, so that the precious people scraping up their coins to buy an unblemished animal to atone for their sins no longer had to.

And God approved.  God was appeased.  The cruelty of sin that man used to assault one another had been paid for by the Absolute Perfect Sacrifice……

This unblemished Lamb that had two goals, to Love and Die, was God Himself, who came down in the form of Jesus.

And he came for the little guy.

He came for you and He came for me.

The snare set up by the enemy in the beginning to trap us was exposed and Jesus Won the Prize He Cherished and Adored.

You and Me.

That Moment of Time was the Defining Moment in all of history.

BC/AD.

The religious leaders of the day tried to sweep up the dust of the confusion, but it didn’t work.

Sleep, I am sure did not come so easily to them that night, when they tried to explain what actually happened at the temple…..

Then on SUNDAY??????  Oh, forget about it!  NOW they are saying that Jesus is no longer in the grave, and the Roman soldiers they posted to guard his tomb died and the other soldiers reported that He CAME OUT and IS ALIVE AGAIN??!!  This simply can. not. be…

~Now, here we are in 2015 and the enemy is still trying to use his same tactics that he used thousands of years ago.

He is still trying to get us to pay for our own sins, do or pay our own price.  He throws upon us sorrow and guilt for not being good enough.  He puts in our churches items that we have to buy to pray to and hold onto to assuage our guilt.

Some religions make you buy their jewelry to pray with.  They make you buy their candles of their saints to pray to.  Their saint in their religion is more compassionate then Jesus and He is the one you need to pray to (for only $9.99 while supplies last)……this particular saint will hear, don’t you know, He will understand better than Jesus…..

Other religions make you wear the undergarments that they sell in their church store (Hurry, hurry, step right up, get your white undergarments for only 8 dollars…) ~This is so that when you die, God will see your white garments and you can pass thru the gates into Heaven.

The seemingly cleverness of the enemy was exposed the very instant Jesus died on the cross for you and me.  The very instant the veil in the temple was torn in half, the enemies’ war strategy was exposed.

Yet to this day, the same lie keeps repeating itself over and over and over……

The whispering and sometimes shouting saying “Guilty! Guilty! You must Pay the Price!!!”, is silenced only when we remember what Jesus did for us.

Jesus Paid It All.

Now today as we walk past the temples of the religious leaders of our day, we can smile.  We can walk into authentic churches with others and laugh.

It’s because we are Free.

It’s because we don’t have to wear a white garment, or pray to some saint.

It’s because we, the most common and simplest of people, have access to the Holy of Holies, and we are Loved.

The Ultimate War has been Won, we have been purchased with a Great Price and…

We are Loved.

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