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Posts Tagged ‘despair’

monochrome photo of a homeless man

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“Let the stable still astonish;

Straw, dirt floor, dull eye;

Dusty flanks of donkeys, oxen;

Crumbling, crooked walls;

No bed to carry that pain;

And then, the child;

Rag-wrapped, laid to cry;

In a trough,

Who would have chosen this?

Who would have said:

“Yes,

Let the God of all the Heavens and Earth

Be born here in this place?”

Who but the same God

Who stands in the darker, fouler rooms

of our hearts

and says,

‘Yes.’

Let the God of Heaven and Earth be

Born Here…”

~Jan Karon

The Christmas story makes no sense to human beings.

Here is not just

A god,

but THE GOD

Who Created The Universe,

Choosing to be born in a barn.

Yet the filthy,

foul smelling,

contaminated room

He chose to be birthed in

Compares not

To the depraved,

nefarious rooms

In our hearts

That He wishes to occupy.

He wishes to dwell in our hearts,

So that we may also

Experience a birth as well.

A New birth of our heart.

Who IS this GOD who does this?

Who IS this God that chooses us?

He is TOO GREAT to comprehend,

work out,

grasp,

fathom…

Who is THIS GOD

And What is His Name?

Wonderful.

Counselor.

Ever-Lasting God.

Prince of Peace.

I AM.

Jesus.

His Name is Jesus…

 

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Hurry, hurry, step right up
See the sideshow in town for only fifty cents
Step right up, hurry, hurry before the show begins, my friends
Stand in line, get your tickets, I hope you will attend
It’ll only cost you fifty cents to see
What life has done to those like you and me
See the man with the broken heart, you’ll see that he is sad,
He hurts so bad (so bad, so bad)
See the girl who has lost the only love she ever had
There’s got to be no sadder show to see
No doubt about it, satisfaction’s guaranteed
So let the sideshow begin
Hurry, hurry, step right on in
Can’t afford to pass it by
Guaranteed to make you cry
Let the sideshow begin (hurry, hurry)
Hurry, hurry, step right on in
Can’t afford to pass it by
Guaranteed to make you cry
See the man who’s been cryin’ for a million years,
So many tears (so many tears)
See the girl who’s collected broken hearts for souvenirs
It’s more exciting than a one man band
The saddest little show in all the land
So let the sideshow begin
Hurry, hurry, step right on in
Can’t afford to pass it by
Guaranteed to make you cry…
~Sideshow
by Blue Magic
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
    because he has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
    and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,”  ~Jesus
~Luke 4:18
The most rejected man on earth was Jesus..
The most mocked and laughed at person
That ever existed,
Was Jesus.
He came to earth knowing
What He was in for…
Knowing precisely
What He would go thru…
And He did it.
He Joyfully did it.
He went thru the rejection
For you.
He went thru the rejection
For me.
And He did it
HAPPILY!
“…He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross
Because of the joy he knew would be his afterwards;
And now he sits in the place of honor by the throne of God.”
~Hebrews 12:2
“Greater love has no man
Than He lay down his life for his friends.”
~John 15:13 
He knew before the beginning of time
That we would need
A Saviour.
A Rescuer.
A Redeemer
From all of our
Mistakes,
Hurts,
And Wounds
That were inflicted on us
From ourselves,
And from others…
So He slipped out of Heaven
Where there was No Pain,
And entered a world
Where pain surrounded Him
And engulfed Him.
He GLADLY exchanged His Paradise
And grasped the demented world
So that if we would so choose,
We could have a Home with Him
In Heaven.
In Paradise.
So let the sideshow begin,
Hurry hurry,
Step right on in….
(God Loves You)

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Are you tired?

Worn out?

Burned out on religion?

Come to me.

Get away with me

And you’ll recover your life.

I’ll show you how to take a real rest.

Walk with me,

And work with me,

Watch how I do it.

~Matthew 11 The Message Bible

So let God work His will in you.

Yell a loud No to the devil

And watch him scamper.

Say a quiet Yes to God

And He’ll be there in no time.

Quit dabbling in sin.

Purify your inner life.

Quit playing the field.

Hit bottom

And cry your eyes out.

The fun and games are over.

Get serious,

Really serious.

Get down on your knees before the Master,

It’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.

~James 4 The Message Bible

Casting all your cares,

All your anxieties,

All your worries,

And all your concerns,

All on Him.

For He cares about you

With deepest affection.

And watches over you very carefully.

~1 Peter 5 The Message Bible

Trust God from the bottom of your heart,

Don’t try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for God’s voice in everything you do,

Everywhere you go.

He’s the One who will keep you on track.

Don’t assume that you know it all.

~Proverbs 3 Amplified Bible

 God told them,

“I’ve never quit loving you

And never will.

Expect love,

Love,

And more love!

And so now,

I’ll start over with you,

And build you up again…

 You’ll resume your singing,

Grabbing tambourines

And joining the dance.

~Jeremiah 31:3 The Message Bible

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God has many names.

Many  names.

He is Jehovah Nissi,

My Victory.

Jehovah Rapha,

My Healer.

Jehovah Shalom,

My Peace.

Jesus called Him Father.

But lately,

We have needed

The God-of-Angel-Armies.

So that is the Name I cry out to.

We’ve needed a

Warrior God,

A Rush-To-Our-Defense-God,

 An I-Will-FIGHT-For-You-God.

And that is the name I call upon.

Whenever I cry out,

‘Oh God-Of-Angel-Armies come to our rescue!’

He Does.

I INSTANTLY feel His Presence.

Instantly.

We’ve felt such a need for a Redeemer,

For an All-Conquering,

All-Powerful,

Fearsome Warrior,

So I cry out and He is near…

I feel Him by my side…

Yes, the Holy Spirit dwells within me

and comforts me,

But He is also the one that quickens me

with the Name of God that we need for the moment.

And recently He has told me

God-Of-Angel-Armies…

Think of that name.

Lord-of-Hosts,

God-Of-Angel-Armies….

Angel ARMIES…

Mighty to Save…

All-Powerful!

CREATOR OF HEAVEN AND EARTH!!!

Who is like Him?

NO ONE!!! 

Not one single person or thing.

He is Great,

And Greatly To Be Praised.

That is the God I’ve been talking with lately.

That is the God I’ve been walking with lately.

That is the God Who has been showing me

situations, people and things around me

to pray about and to pray for.

He is the same God my mother used to pray to

and her mother used to pray to

and her mother’s mother,

and on and on.

With that legacy behind me

how can I not call out to

The Name Above All Names,

Who comes to our rescue?

God-Of-Angel Armies

is right by my side.

lightning in land

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Far be it from me to not believe,

Even when my eyes can’t see;

And this mountain that’s in front of me,

Will be cast into the midst of the sea.

~So let go my soul, and Trust in Him,

The waves and wind still know His Name…

~It Is Well by Bethel Music

 

This past week I put out my nativity set

And it was as if I was looking at it for the first time.

The words to the above song were playing

And my eyes drifted to Baby Jesus inside the nativity scene.

As I was looking at the figurine of the Baby Jesus the song played,

“Far be it from me to not believe,

even though my eyes can’t see…

So let go my soul and Trust in Him,

the waves and wind still know His Name…”

Why?, I wondered,

Was it so hard for me to believe at times.

Why?  I pondered,

Did doubt and discouragement hang over me like a dark cloud at times?

~God showed me why.

It is because my foundation was mixed.

My foundation was shaky.

My trust was in half me and half Him.

I trusted that He made the stars and the universe and me.

I trusted my life and my next heartbeat to Him.

But He still needed my help for everything else.

He needed me to be good enough,

He needed me to act right,

He needed me to shape up.

~In other words I was not trusting in Him Alone to save me

I was trusting in His Work on the cross + My works in doing good = God accepting me.

No wonder depression would creep in.

Inside myself I knew I wasn’t good enough to keep me from falling.

I was trying to balance on a man made balance beam and I kept falling.

I could never laugh and dance and jump on my balance beam foundation

Cause I just might fall and crash and burn.

No.

I had to be sober minded at all times,

never relax,

never let down my guard,

for if I did I was a goner.

What kind of representative of Christ was I being

If I am walking around nervous and half smiling,

Fearful of trying to measure up so God will be happy with me?

I have FINALLY come to the conclusion

That no matter what I do or do not do,

my salvation is secure. 

It is NOT about me.

Bottom Line.

~”So let go my soul and Trust in Him,

the waves and wind still know His Name.”

~Today I’m gonna laugh

and dance

and Believe

that It Is Well with my soul.

Not because of anything I’ve done,

but TOTALLY because of what He Has Done.

(Smile)

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Then he went on alone into the wilderness,

traveling all day.

He sat down under a solitary broom tree

and prayed that he might die.

“I have had enough, Lord,” he said.

“Take my life,

for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.”

Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree.

But as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him,

“Get up and eat!” 

 He looked around and there beside his head was some bread baked on hot stones

and a jar of water!

So he ate and drank

and lay down again.

Then the angel of the Lord came again and touched him and said,

“Get up and eat some more, or the journey ahead will be too much for you.

 So he got up and ate and drank,

and the food gave him enough strength to travel forty days and forty nights

to Mount Sinai, the mountain of God.

 There he came to a cave, where he spent the night.

But the Lord said to him,

“What are you doing here, Elijah?”

 “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him.

And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by,

and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain.

It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose,

but the Lord was not in the wind.

After the wind there was an earthquake,

but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 

 And after the earthquake there was a fire,

but the Lord was not in the fire.

And after the fire there was the sound of

a gentle whisper.

  When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak

and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?

1 Kings 19

Why in the world would God,

who created the earth,

and the fire,

and the wind

represent Himself with a Whisper?

Because he saw Elijah’s depression

and wanted to treat him gently,

with kindness…

In Isaiah 53:3 scripture says that,

Jesus was despised and rejected by mankind,

a man of suffering,

and familiar with pain.

Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised,

and we held him in low esteem.

Next time you are feeling down and in despair,

and life feels so overwhelming

that you simply want to die…

Talk to the One who

Understands all your pains and your sufferings,

and He will listen….

He Will Listen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Roll, roll me away,
won’t you roll me away tonight
I too am lost, I feel double-crossed
and I’m sick of what’s wrong and what’s right

‘Roll Me Away’ ~Bob Seger

What do you do when even the church betrays you?

When you are hurt by the ones that are supposed to have the medicine?

What do you do when

The ones that are meant to be safe

Are unsafe?

What do you do then...

If you’re anything like me, you hide.

You build a wall around yourself so that nothing and no one else can hurt you.

Yeah, thats what I do…

Thats what I’ve done.

The problem with that is it doesn’t work.

Building a wall from ever getting hurt again only leads to loneliness…

And being alone sucks.

As I am sitting here writing this the only living thing around me are plants.

Plants and the ticking of a clock somewhere off in another room…

(But the clocks not actually alive…it’s just making a sound)

~When you are physically hurt you go to a dr. to diagnose the pain and apply medicine,

When your soul is hurt you are supposed to go to God and God’s people

To help heal your souls pain.

But what do you do when the soul wounds are inflicted by the ‘soul healers’…

Whatcha-gonna-do?

Once-upon-a-time I lived in a city that was full of Christian churches.

Name your flavor.

It was there.

I was raised in the church so I knew how to act and how to fit in.

But alas, when I lived in that city I grew weary of acting,

And I decided to let my limp show.

Guess what?

My limp exposed all the other Christian’s limps,

But they didn’t know it.

My taking off my mask of ‘Perfection’,

Brought about tongue lashings and rejection of the cruelest kind.

The kind that’s done in the name of God.

This happened over 13 years ago,

And to this day I am still scared to come out of hiding.

I still shiver when I walk as a visitor into a church.

My smile still quivers when I greet people,

Because deep inside my heart,

The tape player plays back the old voices…

Voices of condemnation,

Voices of shame.

So I hide.

~And while I’ve been told,

to have a friend

You have to be a friend.

You have to smile and show yourself friendly,

And ask about others,

About their story…

But if I do that,

They might turn around

And ask about me about mine…

And I would have to reveal that I have a limp,

And face their scorn.

No,

It’s easier to hide.

While I may not be able to fit into the mask I once wore of ‘Perfection’

I at least do not have to place myself in a seat of inspection from others.

I’ve done that too.

I’ve thought, ‘well I might as well just tell them up front what my limp is

And they can reject me right away..’

But that didn’t work either.

(Sigh…)

What do I do with my limp?

What do I do with my poor, ragged, muddied soul?

I give it to God…

I give it to Him.

He alone holds the balm.

He alone mends my limp.

He alone holds my head to His chest.

He alone.

Alone.

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The thing that intrigues me the most about Jesus’ birth,

Was that God chose the down and out to announce His birth to.

These guys, these shepherds,  were NOT ‘temple worthy’…

These guys lived with and among animals daily..

No showers in the outhouses for them,

In fact no outhouses for them either.

Mankind had slapped a standard on anyone

That would try to enter the temple…

But GOD simply ripped open the sky,

And said…

“Hello….”

He didn’t care how they smelled,

He didn’t care what they wore,

He didn’t care that they were ‘unclean’

Both physically and spiritually.

In fact,

That was the point.

He split the chasm between Heaven and Earth,

For the ‘little guy’.

And that is one of the many reasons

I shake my head and ponder this

Miraculous Story….

It’s because,

I am allowed In.

Me. Even me.

Thank You Papa…

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Church_bells._Narikala,_Tbilisi

‘Then pealed the bells, more loud and deep;

God is not dead, nor doth He sleep!

The wrong shall fail,

The right prevail;

With Peace on Earth,

Good Will to Men.’

‘I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day’

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“What’s that cut on your lip?”

Asked Clarence the Angel.

“What..this?”

Answered George Bailey.

“This is an answer to my prayer…”

‘It’s a Wonderful Life’

~Frank Capra

The seventh stanza in the song,

‘I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day’,

Written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow,

Has always gripped me…

As I get older it grips me even more.

As I read the news…

And see the advancing army of evil,

Marching ever closer…

I remind myself of

Who God is.

Who GOD is.

‘Oh Lord my God,

When I in awesome wonder;

Consider all,

The worlds Thy Hands have made.

I see the stars,

I hear the rolling thunder;

Thy power through out,

The universe displayed.

Then sings my soul,

My Savior God to thee;

How Great Thou Art…

How Great Thou Art.’

‘How Great Thou Art.’

~Carl Gustav Boberg 

William Wadsworth Longfellow wrote the song,

‘I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day’

After his wife had died from an illness…

After his son was killed during the Civil War…

And the country he loved was torn in half..

His heart was smitten.

Yet nevertheless,

After dealing with years of depression,

On Christmas morning of 1863,

He heard the church bells ringing,

Announcing the birth of the Messiah.

He picked up his pen and wrote;

‘And in despair, I bowed my head,

“There is no peace on earth, I said”;

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep,

God is Not Dead,

Nor Doth He Sleep!’

Despite all the tragedy in his life,

He was reminded of God’s Love.

He was reminded that God,

And God alone,

Was in control of the world;

By the sound of the

Church bells….

Church bells.

In the movie,

‘It’s a Wonderful Life’,

George Bailey was at the end of his rope.

His was a life filled with multiple frustrations.

All that he had worked for and tried to achieve,

Felt like it was in vain.

Then, at a climax point in the movie,

His enemies scorn him and start advancing towards him,

To demolish him;

And get rid of him once and for all.

George whispers a single prayer,

“Help me God…”

And the next thing you know,

A man at a bar swings and hits him in the lip.

George surmises that the cut lip,

Was his answer to prayer…

Little did he know that God was working,

In each and every tiny circumstance in his life,

For George’s better…

And for God’s Glory,

To be revealed at the end of the movie.

~One day it will be the end of my movie….

The end of my life.

Every once in a while I pause…

Tap my fingers….

Look out of my window…

And ponder about all that is currently going on in my life.

I simply cannot look at the part…

I must look at the whole.

The ears of my heart must listen to hear

The church bells ringing.

I must hear them announce,

That God is not dead, nor doth He sleep.

Whether or not I see the complete answer

To my prayers,

In this life;

I must see with the eyes of my heart,

I must listen with the ears of my heart…

I must see that God is working in each situation I am praying about….

My heart must hear the church bells ringing,

Knowing that God is in control of

‘My whole’,

Not just

‘My part’

That my physical eyes see.

I whisper a prayer for the situations that pain me,

And I trust.

Not in myself do I trust;

But in God…

The One Who is not dead,

Nor doth He sleep.

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